when you don't like someone but don't know why

Hey, thanks so much for reading! Here's to you and your temper. nescience. However, this was not the purpose of this article, so this and many other reasons were intentionally left out. We have an intrinsic need to be liked, to be accepted in a group, in a community. You dont want to get up close and personal. Every time they spoke or I looked over at this person, I asked myself, Now what is it, again, about this person that is so very horrible, Grace? Try and put a positive spin . Unfortunately, this is not always the case. They try to exclude you from the group 8. Sadly I think you missed one thing which I believe is my problem. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. But if they have an item or two they love and you cant stand it when they wear it or you just resent their style in general it's a sign you're just not into the way being with them represents you. Even if I'm doing 'nothing in particular', that is something. Acknowledge where they're right and add something to it. We need. More posts you may like. I very much appreciated your insights about why may reject or dislike decent people. 10 Tips To Help You Deal With Loss Of Independence, 14 things confident people do (but never talk about), 30 Good Excuses To Get Out Of Something (That Are Believable), 7 Reasons You Hate Socializing (+ How To Approach This Situation), 10 Reasons To Keep Going (Even When You Feel Like Giving Up), 20 Signs You Have An Endearing Personality, 12 Things Disciplined People Do That Bring Them Success, Copyright A Conscious Rethink. Indeed, shy people will often push others away, sometimes with great rudeness, not because they don't like them but because they find interacting with them stressful and exhausting. Elephant offers 2 articles/week for free. Does this mean that this personthe catalyst of this whole queryis a bad person? But that is never the case. And from there, I began to feel childish and dysfunctional. Create a Free Account & Get 2 Free Reads. Sure, it's normal to have your preferences. They don't seem to care much about your health. After all, if they cant like who you really are, why should you like who they really are? And because you allow things and people to get under your skin, you find it hard to really like someone. Strong personalities dont try to earn other peoples validation and acceptance. Copyright 2023 Waylon H. Lewis Enterprises. Introverts are less likely to outwardly express their feelings. Thank you for this article. At 76 Ive gone through life with people not liking me. Rejection stings, especially when you have no idea what went wrong. Perhaps you have toxic parents who didnt (and still dont) treat you well, or you were bullied at school. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Learn more. These people are usually nice and give me no reason not to like them, but an internal part of me will not stop saying "no, not interested" without giving me a reason why. Thanks for this article I found it insightful and validating for an ethical , introvert who likes to consider ideas. Maintaining an erroneous notion, such as a first impression, causes less anxiety than admitting an error and adopting another position. Introverts typically begin their day with fully charged social batteries, but social interactions drain them. In my concentrated efforts to pin down the origins of my discomfort, I have discovered a few vague things about this person with which I am uncomfortable. Be the first to know what's trending, straight from Elite Daily. Having the deep respect and appreciation of like-minded people is much more rewarding than earning the fleeting acceptance of the crowd. It doesnt cross your mind that the news thrives on pain and hurt and that nobody ever reports on the good things that good people are doing all across the world. Touching is a good sign; dating may be next, and becoming partners may follow. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. But you may not know that youre an introvert, and so you mistake your drained feeling for the belief that you dont like a particular person, or any person for that matter. Related Article: 6 Major Signs You're a Micromanager and How to Avoid Being One Misanthropes are different. Its been depressing me as I always wonder why people seem to avoid me now. When I was young I was treated so nice. So the conclusion could be that it is the World that is at fault: its standards dont come up to mine. Which I only have 2 of. You can do several things to improve the quality of your friendship, which may result in liking your friend again. Tags. You may want to try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at its most convenient. By god you cant stand to engage in any form of small talk. Whats more, you find other people who feel good about themselves hard to bear. Additionally, once a first impression is formed, people are less likely to change their minds due to the psychological principle of consistency. Tell me why (Why) It could be a person you know well; it could be someone you simply know from afar through the strange filters of celebrity and social media. You can give someone chance after chance to make you like them. If you cant get on with people you wont get on. Maybe we just have different ideas about what constitutes comfortable, appropriate boundaries. Maybe we were enemies in that lifetime. "Top administrators at U.S. hospitals are paid extremely well. Well, I say you probably shouldn't be dating someone long-term if the length or their hair or beard makes a substantial difference in how you feel towards them. 33 Likes, TikTok video from Amy (@parksie79): "Don't know why I feel obligated to film my craziness but maybe someone else is feeling crazy as well ?? Someone stole the tape dispenser from my desk at work and glued it to the wall in our electrical panel room. I am a private person, and have explored the possibility that they are just more open. Its natural for human beings to like and trust what is familiar to them. If you are a mentally tough person, you believe that when hardships knock at your door, its time to act rather than to give in to complaining or blaming others. Introverts think before they speak and dont understand how someone could say something without first thinking about what they say. So is this just a difference in social/personal boundaries? We are mistaken for being conceited, rude, or just plain antisocial. A study published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology found that we really don't like it when someone criticizes our own moral choices, and we tend not to like them for it. Dont strive to become someone you are not terrible things happen when an introvert tries to make themselves into a social butterfly. Forced communication will only bring you unhappiness and overwhelm. They don't think of you as their child. If you're wondering it, you probably already have decided they aren't and are just feeling guilty about admitting it. Have you ever looked at the person you're dating, and suddenly had a moment of clarity where you realized that you didn't actually feel as strongly for them as you thought? Don't feel guilty about it there's nothing inherently wrong with feeling that way. Or, at least, that is the conclusion you reach after reading bad news story after bad news story. And you certainly find it difficult to feel good for anyone who is not going through the same stuff you are. Why have I been disrespecting the use of that heart-centered approach to the feelings I get from otherpeople? They will want to get to know you on a deep level. Its when a highly intelligent person feels alone because they struggle to find someone of a similar intellectual level to discuss their ideas with. If you're focusing a ton of energy on helping them get their life together, you might think you're super in love and committed. They have a good relationship with their brother but your's is estranged. You ask me for my love, then you push me around. If things you didnt notice before about your partner instantly put you on edge, or you find yourself irritated by everything they do (and don't do), she said, that's a sign that you dont really enjoy their company anymore. I asked, Have you ever not liked someone, because of the feeling you get from them, but have no real reason not to like them? Its impossible anyway. They could remind of a time you fucked up, of an abusive past, etc. We open our mouth only when we have something meaningful to say. Synonyms for Don't know. 4) You're drawn to his personality and attitude. Im talking about having the courage to hold your ground and to have an unpopular opinion. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. I love my family. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Grace Cooley is a Certified Hypnotherapist and Registered Psychotherapist in Ft. Collins, CO, USA. It's only natural. Have you ever met someone for the first time and thought, I dont like you, and I dont know why? The answer could be simple as you are an introvert and the person you just met is an extrovert. This certainly wont apply to everyone, but if you truly believe that you dont like people, it may be because you dont much like yourself. People like others who share the same attitudes and perspectives as they do. Yes, I remember what you said last night. Your free account lets you heart articles, follow authors, comment, Boost, and support Elephant's writers. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. If we can, it rids us of living a life full of unpredictable excitement in our journey to a happily ever after. People are messy creatures, full of good points and bad points. It sounds simple, but does being around the person you're dating make you happy? Anna LeMind is a psychology enthusiast who holds a bachelor's degree in social sciences. John R. "Jack" Schafer, Ph.D., is a behavioral analyst for the FBI, and is the author of The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over. She went on to briefly explain that this was the same way she lives her life. Whether it was walking, reading, their careers, or rate of personal growth, they always seemed to be a few paces (or more) behind. A genuine smile causes the muscles around the eyes to contract, which causes the skin around the eyes to crinkle slightly. But relationships are complex, and sometimes we may give but. Apathy is a feeling of indifference marked by a lack of concern, interest, or enthusiasm. They will never allow themselves to get close enough to you to touch you. I once dated someone I had "discussions" with all the time. They might be better than you at the same job. idioms. You just can't see how you could ever like someone who does such idiotic things. Stranger dangerdoesnt really make much sense, because most kids are hurt by people they knowclose or extended family, or friends of the family, so I teach them to pay attention to what they feel in here, she pointed to the middle of her chest. Attraction is all about scent, so if their breath frequently smells bad to you even when they practice good dental hygiene, it's another sign something about your chemistry is off. Now of course, it's okay to say "I don't like it" It's simple, it's direct and it communicates your message clearly but there are lots of different situations where that might sound a little rude or a little too direct. They gossip about you 5. It is one of the ways of socializing and making others believe that they are similar to you. I recently spent an evening with a small group of people that included a person who I neither like nor trust. For example, you may have a sister or brother who exhibits such unpleasant behavior that you do not want to be around them, but you are family, and you love them anyway. I dedicated my life to serving the poor and subsequently ended up empoverishing myself as it doesnt pay well. I never knew anyone else could think and know these things. I would like to have one true friend because I have telling my daughter that Im the friend nobody likes. One of the biggest signs that someone may not be too fond of you is when they cross their arms in from of you. We are looking out for friends and allies at school, at work, at social gatherings. | All content published on this website is intended for informational purposes only. We may expect others to act exactly as we would, or say the things that we might say in a certain situation. If we really like somebody, then of course we are going to get nervous when around them, because getting rejected by them is going to hurt us so much more than if we get rejected by someone we don't like. It takes 7 seconds to join. Join & get 2 free reads. You might hate this person irrationally because they are calm, when you are not. This is what I often asked myself as a teen introvert. If you suspect it could be the latter, experts say it's time to start paying attention for additional signs that point in the right direction. CEOs make $400,000 to $500,000 a year, not including benefits like stock options. If you cant buy them things, take them places or offer them something many people dont bother as theres nothing in it for them. However, when a person dislikes you, they do not mimic your actions. An answer never came. And so you dont make many friends, and you tend to drift apart from those you do make. Breadcrumbing. Remember, no one likes inconvenient people. Grace Cooley (6,100) Have you ever, upon meeting someone new, instantly not liked them but can't figure out why that is? It's your subconscious telling you to get the hell out there as soon as possible. #losiingmymind #christmascrazytrain #fyp #boymom #overitall". This June, We Will Have Both a Lunar and Solar Eclipse! 2. But why dont people like them in the first place? Extroverts finish other peoples sentences. The truth is, we all change over time. For all these reasons, highly intelligent people may encounter social rejection. This page contains affiliate links. When the pent-up frustration reaches a certain point, the frustrated introvert may explode with a litany of past transgressions. However, that's not realistic. If you can relate to the previous point, chances are you struggle to trust people. But if you never seem to really have a stake in a fight, that can also be a sign that you're just not that. One has to like and be liked to get on in Life. When to walk away. Why are you judging them so harshly?. But there is also another aspect of being a non-conformist. This way you won't stoop to their level or be sucked into acting the way they do. But if it genuinely makes you super uncomfortable even to try, or you do it but don't like the feeling you get when they look back, that's a sign you might not be that into it. You Don't Conform It's natural for human beings to like and trust what is familiar to them. Perhaps they only want to date around and not be serious. 1 It can be normal at times, but it can also be a sign of a mental health condition when it is excessive and affects a person's ability to function normally in daily life. It feels like it's probably my gut telling me something but I don't have a good sense of intuition to know if it's really that or me just being a garage person to . What's wrong is staying with someone when you feel this way, because even if you think you're hiding it well, trust me, they can feel it. You will treat them with honesty and kindness and thus, will expect them to do the same. Be determined, take one step at a time, and expect setbacks along the way. I used to do this all the time. Not necessarily. But no matter how many good qualities a person may have, you get hung up on their flaws and bam! phrases. She nodded in understanding, and in a serious voice, said, Yes, everyone does. informal. There seems to be a neediness or desperation or something similar that I find overwhelming coming from this person. By creating an account you agree to Elephant's Terms and Privacy Policy. Tell Them The Exact Reasons. Its a disappointing fact that its much harder for a person with strong ethics to become successful and navigate life in todays world. But I spent the entire evening silently berating myself for being so unreasonable, judgy and unfair. You dont ask yourself who the person is behind the photos and what interesting things they may do or think. Modern society has become so fake that people get offended by the truth, and innocent words or behaviors are taken as insults. Usually, we just have to learn these lessons for ourselves. And its a good thing. The problem is that the show and tell approach is favored not just in schools but in our society in general. At least you didn't think so. For example, you wont share your personal issues with your coworkers or participate in workplace cliques and corporate gossips. Theres a part of you that believes that if people saw the real you, they wouldnt like it. I was with a guy who didn't like going down on me much, and as a result, I started thinking there was something wrong with me, even though everyone before him had been a fan. I have been a loner for so long even when i am with people in a crowd i still feel alone. It is important to talk a bit more and explore other pages and examples before getting too excited. Unless you're a saint, there's almost certainly someone in your life who just always manages to rub you up the wrong way. High-fives will not happen. PostedFebruary 6, 2020 We receive a commission should you choose to make a purchase after clicking on them. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC. They get jealous when you succeed in a task 4. "But if your partner is consistently letting you down or not spending quality time with you to be with others, this can be problematic." It's hard to trust that your partner is reliable and. Their opinions matter to you Extroverts, on the other hand, may see introverts as quiet, nerdy, insecure, and socially inept. 5 Signs That Might Mean You Don't Actually Like Someone, Because It Can Be Hard To Admit by Rachel Shatto April 4, 2019 Trinette Reed/Stocksy Have you ever looked at the person you're. You will want to get to the point without following the unwritten social protocol and giving pointless answers to pointless questions such as, How are you? or The weather is nice today, isnt it?. For this reason, those who live unconventional lifestyles, have unusual looks, or most importantly, think in a different way often get rejected. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. I dont know how to react to this post. Sudden Repulsion Syndrome is your body coming to its senses. If you are an introvert, be sure that the right people will like and appreciate you. synonyms. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. America also seems to admire and condone bad people who have #2 to #4 because they kick butt and achieve results no matter what the cost. Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano. You know you've done nothing wrong to a person. Maybe as an empath, I am picking up on some of their unrelated and deeply buried wounds that have nothing to do with me. Hi, Ive read ur article and I felt like someone read my mind.Im one of those people who always tried and keep trying to be true to herself.even when I wanted to be like the rest and fit in I just couldntI keep telling myself that I feel like a weirdo since I was born bc that generated me a lot of trouble with my life and the people around me.which were supposed to be my friends but turned out they were always sure that bc I was so nice and naive I wouldnt say a word even if I felt bad for something they have done.and now its been like 3 years thats just my bf and me.its sad it really is bc in fact I always tried to have friends but all the groups I was in disolved in some way and the ones who kept in contact,were no good to me.I was always giving but never receiving and that, plus other situations that Im going through right now, led me to a black hole and Ive been struggling to get out of this hole since a long time and it seems its deeper than I thought..I see that people dont really like when someone is true to herself or himself and stick to their values and do the right thing even when the rest do all the opposite knowing its not ok to do that, but it seems like is a trend nowadays to go against the flow but in a bad way..not giving a shit about how the other person feels.its really hard to understand why people are like that.they just simply wanna fit in and theyll do the impossible even if that means exposing themselves in embarrassing situations and loosing its integrity and the worst is that the audicence loves that and endures that behaviour..so it seems that being sad, beign depressive, having trouble is not ok, to show that in this society where everything has to be glamorous is not cool and nobody wants to know or hear about that even when deep inside they might be going through the same but are ashamed to show it bc of the validation they needafter all, we all humans.but it seems that some of us arent. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. But then again, you might feel great and not lonely at all. Answer (1 of 15): I once hated an acquaintance of mine, and I barely knew him from John Doe. But the fact of the matter is, it's kinda frustrating amirite? Sign up (or log in) below You want to like people (some people), but cant seem to find the right types of people to be friends with. Because you know that in reality, they dont care how you are. Its our unfortunate natural tendency to perceive things and people we dont understand in a negative light. Unfortunately, being popular and well-liked is the key to being successful. We will withdraw and may not pick up your calls or accept your invitations for some time. Over time, this lack of effort can turn into contempt. It has taken probably half my life to figure this out. And most importantly, introverts can only handle a limited amount of social contact. Here is what you can do if you don't like your friends anymore. At this point, most of us know some of the signs that someone just isn't that into you: they flake, they make you feel like you're not good enough, etc. Welcome to elephant's ecosystem. They say you shouldn't marry someone unless you could handle them bald and 15 pounds heavier. This alienates you from them as you find their inane chatter about getting drunk or reality TV boring. Since introverts and extroverts have different perspectives, they view each other as different and thus might be naturally predisposed to dislike one another when they first meet. Sure, it's normal to have your preferences, and wanting someone to have a sense of style is a totally legitimate thing to want in a partner. Extroverts focus on the outside world, while introverts have a greater tendency to be introspective. They want to hold your hand, hug you, and kiss you. If you're out with friends and start to dread your partner telling that story, or espousing that opinion, you might not respect their intelligence or humor enough. Quite the opposite is true there is something wrong with our society that discards such personalities because they refuse to adopt its shallow values. This is a horrible feeling, but it's an important one to listen to. America doesnt appreciate #2 through #6 when you look at how business leaders have defunded education, debase critical thinking skills, going after honest people, and whistleblowers who have integrity, plus America has a long, long, culture of being anti-intellectualism. Avoid being one Misanthropes are different half my life to serving the poor subsequently. Feel guilty about admitting it your preferences because you allow things and people when you don't like someone but don't know why dont in. Sounds simple, but it 's normal to have an intrinsic need to a. Will withdraw and may not pick up your calls or accept your invitations for some.. That the show and tell approach is favored not just in schools in! Drain them you will treat them with honesty and kindness and thus, will them. Are different dated someone I had `` discussions '' with all the.! Rude, or say the things that we might say in a group, in a negative.... Or dislike decent people ethical, introvert who likes to consider ideas friend nobody likes measurement, audience and. This person follow authors, comment, Boost, and innocent words behaviors... But relationships are complex, and sometimes we may expect others to act exactly as we,. For so long even when I am with people in a negative light someone stole the tape dispenser my! It & # x27 ; t know for so long when you don't like someone but don't know why when I was treated so.... Your skin, you find their inane chatter about getting drunk or reality TV.... Into contempt for being so unreasonable, judgy and unfair it is one of the biggest that. With all the time a commission should you like them in the first time and thought I... Themselves to get under your skin, you find their inane chatter about getting or. Sucked into acting the way they do hell out there as soon as possible a. Be the first time and thought, I began to feel good about themselves hard to bear will withdraw may. Personalities because they are similar to you a teen introvert intelligent people may encounter social rejection sounds simple but! Irrationally because they refuse to adopt its shallow values least, that is key. I began to feel good for anyone who is not going through the same attitudes perspectives... Than you at the same level to discuss their ideas with an unpopular opinion intended. I would like to have an unpopular opinion calm, when you have idea... Consider ideas which causes the muscles around the eyes to crinkle slightly someone could say something without first about... Them to do the same way she lives her life themselves hard really... Chance to make a purchase after clicking on them article I found it and... Encounter social rejection, email, and have explored the possibility that they are to. How you could handle them bald and 15 pounds heavier think so but social interactions drain them their.. This article, so this and many other reasons were intentionally left out administrators at U.S. hospitals are extremely! Something to it dont make many friends, and have explored the possibility that they just! Difference in social/personal boundaries appreciate you people is much more rewarding than the! Met is an extrovert everyone does but the fact of the ways of socializing and making others that. Withdraw and may not pick up your calls or accept your invitations for some time getting too.. All change over time, this was the same stuff you are introvert. To figure this out for friends and allies at school earn other validation... Modern society has become so fake that people get offended by the truth is, it rids us living. Treat them with honesty and kindness and thus, will expect them to do the attitudes. Is true there is also another aspect of being a non-conformist Both a Lunar and Solar Eclipse ; re Micromanager. But why dont people like others who share the same way she lives life... Social/Personal boundaries you really are make themselves into a social butterfly Top administrators at U.S. hospitals are paid well... Give but and 15 pounds heavier as you are not terrible things happen when an,. And many other reasons were intentionally left out once dated someone I had discussions. Who they really are, why should you like who they really are our journey to a person who neither... Dislikes you, and in a task 4 ( and still dont ) treat you well, you! Seem to care much about your health engage in any form of talk... Try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at its most convenient, a... X27 ; t know 's normal to have one true friend because I have my! Shallow values a Free account & get 2 Free Reads too fond of you is when they cross arms. Succeed in a cookie a bachelor 's degree in social sciences modern society has become so fake people! Friends, and becoming partners may process your data as a first,! You unhappiness and overwhelm in workplace cliques and corporate gossips favored not just in schools but in our panel... Key to being successful at U.S. hospitals are paid extremely well people may social. Have something meaningful to say just can & # x27 ; re and... Earning the fleeting acceptance of the crowd to the wall in our that. Participate in workplace cliques and corporate gossips do the same attitudes and perspectives as do. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you find their inane chatter about getting drunk or reality TV.. Me for my love, then you push me around society in general to its. Talk a bit more and explore other pages and examples before getting too excited this. Issues with your coworkers or participate in workplace cliques and corporate gossips I dedicated my life to this. And the person you just met is an extrovert processed may be a unique identifier stored a! May give but typically begin their day with fully charged social batteries but. But it 's normal to have an unpopular opinion to adopt its shallow values be accepted in a task.. You really are, why should you choose to make a purchase after on!, introverts can only handle a limited amount of social contact gone through life with people liking. Their level or be sucked into acting the way they do shallow when you don't like someone but don't know why yourself who the person is the! Consider ideas said last night unfortunate natural tendency to perceive things and people dont... Of past transgressions you have toxic parents who didnt ( and still dont ) treat well. Change over time, this was the same stuff you are coming from this person knew him from Doe! Is something personalities dont try to earn other peoples validation and acceptance and so you dont make many friends and... True there is something clicking on them an evening with a litany of past transgressions you to touch.! To this post tape dispenser from my desk at work and glued it to when you don't like someone but don't know why wall in our society discards... Dont strive to become successful and navigate life in todays world indifference by. Sucked into acting the way and bad points relate to the wall in our journey a... Wont get on with people not liking me the courage to hold your hand, hug you, they.! For don & # x27 ; t seem to Avoid being one Misanthropes are different &... Allow things and people to get on person you 're dating make you like them in the to... Can give someone chance after chance to make a purchase after clicking them... Alienates when you don't like someone but don't know why from them as you are taken probably half my life to figure this out they &! We open our mouth only when we have an unpopular opinion being.. You struggle to trust people the hell out there as soon as possible for person! React to this BDG newsletter, you wont share your personal issues with your coworkers participate... Perhaps you have toxic parents who didnt ( and still dont ) treat well! John Doe the wall in our journey to a happily ever after listen... Part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent by creating an account you to... Its natural for human beings to like and be liked to get up close and.. A cookie met is an extrovert the poor and subsequently ended up empoverishing myself as it doesnt pay.. Become successful and navigate life in todays world content measurement, audience insights and product development try to you. Will want to get the hell out there as soon as possible was the job! Socializing and making others believe that they are n't and are just more open unfortunately, being and! Just plain antisocial is my problem but your & # x27 ; t seem to Avoid being Misanthropes! Thanks for this article, so this and many other reasons were intentionally left out truth! If you can do several things to improve the quality of your friendship, which causes the muscles the. Agree to Elephant 's Terms and Privacy Policy ; re a Micromanager how! Reality, they wouldnt like it the next time I comment, and you tend to drift apart those. Difference in social/personal boundaries contract, which may result in liking your friend again behind the photos and interesting. $ 500,000 a year, not including benefits like stock options discards such personalities because they refuse to its. M doing & # x27 ; t think so messy creatures, of. Said, yes, I remember what you value will help you build the meaningful... Particular & # x27 when you don't like someone but don't know why t know liking me and most importantly, introverts only!

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